Last week, in a conversation with a co-worker, I heard a lament about a former college professor who’s lecture style was not dissimilar to my preaching, i.e. a lot of rabbit trails. Although the class had a textbook, the professor never referred to it in lectures and the exam only covered what had been said during the rambling lectures.
As I listened to the lament, an old memory surfaced of a similar lament found on the pages of an ancient book (© 1955), Max Shulman’s Guided Tour of Campus Humor. They had been extracted from a number of humor magazines published at various colleges and universities in the US. I found it among my parent’s books in high school and regularly thumbed through the over 450 pages of stories, essays, poem and miscellanea, most all good for at least a smirk and occasionally a belly laugh. I was sadly disappointed when I went off to college in 1970 that humor magazines were a thing of long past. The book is still on my shelves, slowly falling apart. Yet, I do open it up from time to time. You can probably blame it for some of my weirder sense of humor.
But in a time of frustration, isolation, and lamentation I offer this light-hearted lamentation and wonder how many of you had similar experiences as the author’s.
Lamentations of the Times and Customs
On Monday he started to talk about what’s coming up on the test:
Osmosis, hypnosis,
Psychosis, neurosis
We’re keenly awaiting the rest.
On Tuesday he mentioned a few salient facts that he thought we should know:
Machine-gun ballistics,
Insurance statistics,
And homework to do as we go.
On Wednesday we’ve wrestled with all forty questions and problems he gave:
Gyration, vibration,
Amelioration,
It sounds like he’s starting to rave.
On Thursday, he covered a number of various figures and odd little facts:
The Belt of Orion,
The Nemean lion,
And India’s property tax.
On Friday, he lectured on everything east of the Realm of Siam,
Convection, corrections,
Ejection, dissections,
Now bring on your simple exam!
On Saturday what do you think the professor had asked on the quiz?
Osmosis, hypnosis,
Psychosis, neurosis,
Machine-gun ballistics,
Or vital statistics?
Gyration, vibration,
Amelioration,
The Belt of Orion,
The Nemean Lion?
Convections, corrections,
Ejection, dissections?
He did not.
He quizzed about:
Hand-painted ceramics,
And thermodynamics,
Organic detectors,
Mechanical vectors,
Agenda, errata,
Addenda and data,
Transmuting, polluting,
Disputing, refuting,
Exponents of x’s
And why there are sexes.
And any number of other topics not even remotely hinted at during the previous week.Yellow Jacket (Georgia Tech)
The Apprentice Priest 
I miss your rabbit trails!
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